Fanaa: Destroyed in Lameness
Things have gone slightly upside down of late- practically everyone we know in Bangalore seems to be moving houses. So we went to SD's house yesterday to lend a hand. But everyone turned out to be so pooped and well in need of a break, that we decided to go watch Fanaa instead. Surround sound at unhealthy decibels is never the best idea for relaxation, but atleast everyone sat in comfortable seats for three hours and had no boxes to think of.
So off went the platoon. After reading reviews that ranged from bad to ugly, I wasn't particularly looking forward to it. But hey, a critic who has seen the movie and is critical is better than a cynic who hasn't seen it and is cynical nevertheless.
Right off- the movie is so chock full of 'What the fuck?' moments, I think I uttered the phrase with alarmingly increasing frequency and disbelief as three hours of lameness passed me by. How could it break weekend Box-office records when it's so weak? It makes no sense for God sake! Parents who send their daughter off to a new city with bimbo friends and teacher to find a shehzada, supposedly intelligent girl lets a weirdo guide cop numerous feels without any sense of shock/anger/burning fury, bimbo friends and teacher allow weirdo guide to carry on shenanigans and actually stop train by pulling chain so that they can facilitate a little walking into the sunset moment- wtf? wtf? wtf?
Then if the first half wasn't senseless enough, they tacked on another hour and a half on mindless storyline in the name of entertainment. Army admitting senior officer without suspicion or so much of a background check, parachuting->snowboarding->chase on snowbikes (Voices in my head screamed: Are you serious?), Rishi Kapoor floating beneath the ice (Hahaha), Tabu in the worst role of her lifetime (I hope), helicopters crashing mid-air. The list of celluloid woes is long but I can't even remember half of the self-righteous, ridiculous crap!
Oh, and what about all the great actors wasted in the name of Lame and Lamer guest appearances? So much fan-bloody-tastic talent totally wasted on a weak story and barely there scenes. What a real shame. Here's my list:
1. Satish Shah
2. Lillette Dubey
3. Shiney Ahuja
4. Kirron Kher
5. Tabu
6. Lara Dutta
Can't really recall any more names. What a waste though. Some of these characters could well have been omitted: all in the name of star power. Still, who can debate the filmmaker's good sense if it did so well at the BO? In fact, most of our donkey tired platoon also loved it- what to do?
All in all, a 16 day love story full of ridiculous moments and unintentional hilarity. I thought it was a waste and not only was I destroyed by Fanaa's lameness at the end of 3 hours, I got a lovely migraine as a return gift too. Nice.
This entry was posted
on 12.6.06 at 6:01 PM.
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Ooh i loved that friend of kajol;'s Bobo i suppose was her name . the straight hair chic .. damn cute she is .. and the oscar winning performance has to be Lara Duttas ... 120 bucks went Fanaa
Oh this is so weird! I thought I would stop by and see how your going by reading your blog. And I was just dropping by before I went back to watch the last hour of faana I have left. I downloaded a torrent of it yesterday.
Im not Indian and can't understand a word they are saying except for the few english words that they say every now and again.
The plot is ridicoulos for sure but the lead female actress. I really like her.
Are there any other moview from bollywood that you would recommend?
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