The Miscellany Manifesto

Random Musings of a Transient Soul





Blog Sabbatical

26.5.06


It's like a tiresome, long, silly race
But I still try hard to work and think.
Exams just waste paper and ink
and a lot of precious brain space.

The Miscellany Manifesto and Seeking Clarity will return with a vengance after being slaughtered by exams. Until then, as AV would say, maintain decency guys.
Much love xx


HD *hearts* Black

21.5.06
An unexpected meeting with an old friend resulted in an unexpected discussion over the merits and otherwise of Sanjay Leela Bhansali's 'Black'. While my friend, HD, is gushingly pro-Black, I fiddled somewhere between a mild dislike and a brief appreciation for the movie. Still, it was enough to propel an hour long discussion.
HD has watched Black in the multiplex some three times, owns the special DVD edition and has notched a further 10 viewings at home. He now professes that Black is his ATF- short for All Time Favourite, with a mild tinge of pride. I was curious to find out what transformed this otherwise serial Rambo, Rocky and Die Hard loving, formulaic plot and gore-maniac into a "sensitive" movie buff. Did Black touch some inner recess of sensitivity I didn't know he possessed? Was Black so beautiful and well crafted a movie that it surpassed even the toilet scene in Die Hard? Or had he just grown up?
Seriously though, HD is hardly the kind of man to like a movie such as Black, leave alone profess his unending admiration for it. I was terribly curious to find out what made him love it so much. When I asked him, HD wasn't too sure about his reply. He seemed a little confused as well- had he converted? Had he abandonned his all-powerful triumvirate of John McClane, John J Rambo and Rocky Balboa? Couldn't be!
Aha, but little boys do grow up. Yes, little boys grow up, discard their dreams of earning a PhD in History, decide to give the CAT, join MDI, learn Salsa, enter a committed relationship, throw out all their baggy jeans and radically change their movie preferences. HD now loved Black. HD loved the direction, he thought the screenplay and art direction were immaculate, and the acting! "Jesus, the acting!" he said, "Rani Mukherjee was too good ya. And Big-B! Crap ya, what work!"
I don't quite share HD's enthusiasm for Black. I didn't hate the movie, but I certainly didn't love it. I think Black tried too hard- to straddle the whole "art" mentality with commercial success. Indeed, before the movie released several headlines harped about it heralding the age of "different cinema".
The movie is based upon a true story, yes, but there is no doubt that the director and writers have taken many creative liberties with its construction. Its neither complete fiction, nor is it true to Helen Keller's life. Helen Keller's teacher was Anne Sullivan, a woman committed to making Helen an individual. Helen Keller graduated cum laude from Radcliff College at age 24- as a scholar. She was never at the back of class. The addition of a male Debraj Sahai and the over-hyped, ill-required kiss between teacher and pupil was masala as well.
HD argues that the kiss is infact the turning point in their relationship. No doubt. But it wasn't a part of Keller's life- my point is, stay true to the story or call it fictional. Bhansali did neither. It was never openly called a work of fiction, and Helen Keller's story was never cited as "inspiration" either. No doubt, Mr Bachchan gave a stunning performace- far far outshining Rani Mukherjee, but I wonder if the role wasn't infact written specifically for him. Why wasn't Michelle McNally's teacher a woman? Couldn't an equally strong female bond have worked?
Frankly, no. This is where I think Black tries a little to hard to straddle art with commercial success. Mukerjee and Bachchan are huge Box Office draws, besides ofcourse, India's most famous and recognized actors. We, as an audience, are far too used to seeing a male-female pairing on-screen to suddenly digest a couple of strong women protagonists. Without Mr Bachchan, Black is an all-woman movie anyway, with barely a few male characters thrown in. The Big-B balances it out.
The cinematography and art direction were huge disappointments for me. At first view, the colour schemes are stunning, but I strongly believe that Black over-does the whole, well, blackness. Sure, we're drawn into Michelle's dark world, but the colours are beyond oppressive. That compared with the stark white of Debraj Sahai's hospital room- the contrast is just so obvious, too obvious. The atmosphere too is almost constantly foggy, wintry- once again, overbearingly dreary. That is why I think at several points, Black tries too hard. The symbolism isn't subtle, as it should be, but in-your-face.
Black is a "different" movie- a mould breaker of sorts. It should be applauded for that. But Sanjay Leela Bhansali is a very intelligent film-maker, not a daring one. A movie such as this, with actors of that calibre was a sure shot hit. He just picked a subject in chiaroscuro contrast to his earlier Devdas- impact guaranteed!
Anyway, these arguments were reserved for the Miscellany Manifesto, HD and I didn't discuss any further than his apparent transformation. We discussed how his life was now so different and how mine was about to change. How he missed his time researching History and how he still hopes to get his PhD via correspondence. I ribbed him about his girlfriend (Hi DP!) and his Mr Exec status. It was a wonderful afternoon. Sometimes you just wish little boys and girls didn't grow up- and start donating so much time to understanding and analyzing movies!

Fighting for Dead Causes

20.5.06
Estranged BFF is back with a bang. After a conversation that felt as excruciating and pointless as a triathlon, old wounds were reluctantly stitched over with terrible skill and a lot of guilt. This feels as sticky as a burr, I can't get rid of it. I could use my usual route and just ignore the issue until it dies a neglected death, which I'm sure will eventually bite me in the ass- I didn't try hard enough. I could try something new- argue for myself, not take the BFF's load of shit, convince BFF that it's his fault- he didn't try hard enough. I could just run away from it, because that's all I want to do right now. It's honestly beyond a question of trying hard- I'm just different now, I think BFF is immature, deluded, needy and someone I can't see myself liking a lot right now.
This really does feel as sticky as a burr. That is exactly what it is. Something I can't rid myself of.

Exams, AI and Ghosts

18.5.06
My exams tomorrow, and I'm not freezing in my pants yet. Which is an odd thing, because usually by this time before an exam, any exam, I mean even an eye test qualifies, I'm thinking up worst case scenarios. Instead what's this fly doing tonight? She's listening to music and updating her blog. I swear I've mutated.
Watched American Idol too, so that's another hour of possible study time wasted on pop culture. Possible, being the key word there. Was sad about Elliot Yamin leaving, he was really nice. When I realized I liked AI far more than the Indian version, I felt a little disturbed- unpatriotic even. Yeah, sad, I know. But I did. Then I realized, I needn't, Indian Idol is crap. I mean can you really compare Anu Malik to Randy Jackson...think not. And even though Farha-ha Khan tries to do that whole funny-hand-clap-thing, she hasn't got a patch on that current queen of over the top, Paula Abdul. Oh yeah, and the singers are better too.
Also, with all that wasted time on my hands, I discovered that the floor above us is haunted. No, really, it is. The couple who lived there moved out about two weeks ago but we still hear noises, shuffling and running and stuff like that. Sometimes there's this weird grinding, like chakki-pissing. It's freaking me out just a little... I think we should send Aunty G up, she can exorcise pretty much every thing- living and dead- for good.

Connectivity Isn't Bad When It Looks So Darn Good...

15.5.06
The thing I hate most about mobile phones is when people call you up specifically to ask you where you are. Grrrr. And contrary to popular belief, mobile phones don't really facilitate a secret life- the parents almost always find out about the boyfriend who lives under feminine names in the phone book. And how can I forget my ever gnawing fear of brain tumours caused by all the waves? That's just freaky- I've given up standing near the microwave as well. And then ofcourse, there is the issue of overconnectivity.
That one really gets me. There have been instances where I was talking on the phone, chatting on the PC even as I tried to get some research done. Let me tell you, even Kali with her ten-fifteen hands would find that quite a job. It's just one of those times when you wish you had more fingers and a few more heads- mythology style.
Although the above might convince you into believing I hate mobile technology, materialism can be a real bugger sometimes. So even though I managed to remain the girl-who-is-silly-enough-not-to-own-a-mobile-and-is-quite-happy-about-it while I was at college in Mumbai, things changed immediately when I was in Bangalore. Upon arrival here, I was handed a dabba mobile phone, a Symat (haven't heard of it have you? Yes, it was that old) by my Uncle Sam because apparently we hadn't received the memo- Bangalore is the Big Bad City, not Mumbai.
Months passed and I began to get quite used to the big chunk of techno bulging in my pocket. (Does that sound weird?) My Symat and I had our days, days when he was pissed with me and days when I was pissed with him; days when he was adamant about not working and days when I banged him on the furniture to make him be less adamant. It was a rocky relationship. We managed for about 9 months when both of us decided we'd had enough of each other and parted ways.
I was scarred from that relationship, missing my Symat but willing to move on. That's when I chanced upon my T230, shiny, gleaming and practically beckoning me from a shop window. I still remember when I first laid eyes on him- a rainy June afternoon on Brigade Road. I knew we were made for each other. A few days later, after some pleading with the parents, they decided he was good enough for me and I brought him home.
In the first couple of months, it was pure bliss. It seemed like we could do anything- and hey, we almost could! Friends admired us, people paid compliments- we were quite a match. But then something awful happened, T230 fell ill due to mysterious circumstances. I took him to so many people, he was examined and rechecked. People even opened him up in vain attempts to make him better again- and although he recovered a little, he was never the same again. I knew he had only a few more months in him... It was a sad time for us both.
Then two weeks ago, his vital stats truly began to drop. It was difficult for him to do almost anything. I could see my beloved T230 was nearing his end. Then a few days ago, with a final blip for a goodbye, he was no more. Gone, just like that. I was in mourning. I couldn't believe how disconnected I felt, how utterly removed from the world. It was a terrible couple if days.
That was when it happened. People say there is no love at first sight, but then again, they must not have seen the Motorola Razr V3. It's got all the right bits for this season- lean, dark and sophisticated. How can a girl not fall headlong into love with a something so gorgeous? Materialism struck again, and waving all thoughts of "Isn't it a bit much for you?" and "But it's a corporate phone" aside, Razr, my new love, came home last night. Pure bliss, all over again.
Sure, some might say I'm just on the rebound from my T230. But when connectivity looks so darn good, how can it be a bad thing?

Waves of Colour

14.5.06
The white wave sweeping the East...
The White Wave
And the bronze wave sweeping the West...
The Bronze Wave



Hung Up

11.5.06
There are bad days and then there are bad days. Today is the latter. If there was ever a day where you wondered whether having alcohol and an alcohol tolerance ever came in handy, today is it. I don't know what has bought this on- I don't feel capable of asking questions as mighty as those today, let alone finding answers for them. Exams are coming at me like a freight train and I've practically lain myself on the tracks. Something of an "Aa bail, mujhe maar" as my mum says.
Other crimes for today, and it isn't even 4- I cut out an old BFF from my life. We hadn't been inhabiting the same plane for a very long time now and although he refuses to see it- what with numerous attempts to resuscitate this dead donkey of a friendship- I had to let it go. I hate baggage and I'd been coolie-ing this one around for so long, I've practically got lumbar fusion going on. I know I must sound heartless, I feel heartless. But I can't be the friend he can forget when his girlfriend is around and his bloody Big Sis when she isn't. My shoulder hurts and it just isn't available on demand anymore. I can't care that much anymore. Dead donkey shot in the head.
I've named my laptop Warhol. After the artist. But after conversing with Hammy, Warhol was inadverdently turned into a woman. I believe the poor thing might have identity crisis. Still, she's one kickass laptop. And I'm glad Hammy unwittingly turned her into a lady.
I listened to Nick Lachey and Sean Paul today. In succession. Oh Lord.
The weather is both compounding and dissipating the funkiness of today. The sky is a perfect shade of grey- exactly the colour that reminds you of the first day at school and the attached nervousness, the big ball of excitement and apprehension rolling in the pit of your stomach. I've got goosebumps. Bangalore's fantastic this time of year. Thunderstorms galore. This place pretends to be so high tech, but this time of year it's practically primitive. And perfect.
One long marathon session of revision coming right up. Along with my 5th cup of tea for the day. I think my grey cells need a mini dance session behind my locked bedroom door- and on comes Madonna with Hung Up. God Bless Disco.

Mossy chali Sasural

10.5.06
After months of diehard preparations, Mossy is finally all ready for the big day. Her stuff has been shifted to the new home she will share with my new Mossa. The relatives from either side have begun to congregate. GrandMossy, Mossy's mum, is showing signs of hypertension and GrandMossa, her father, of depression. The third emotional phase of the wedding preparation has dawned upon us- first comes the teasing, then comes the excitement and finally, the sadness.
Mossa arrived from Pune yesterday. I might as well tell you his name- Anand. We invited him to dinner with the family last night- just to give him a real taste of what he was about to get himself into. Something of an initiation ceremony. The women cooed over the new addition to our brood, amazed at how people-friendly and camera-friendly Anand is. There were minor cheek-pinching and hair-ruffling incidents. Anand survived with minor injuries to body and, what I think were, major injuries to the ego. He should get used to it.
My older cousins were busy hatching some rather vile wedding night pranks, and the younger, more impatient bunch were busy hatching some rather vile pranks for right now. "Lets see how far we can stretch his patience" had become our mantra. Some of Mossy's friends joined us after dinner to examine this new specimen and were mighty pleased. How did I know this? I heard one call him a hunk and another used the words "big hunk of meat". Yes, very disturbing for me but I'm sure Mossy will approve.
The men of our clan? Now thats a different issue all together. After dinner was done and Anand had been scarred and scared for life by the ladies, the men called him over to their corner of the living room. Manly chat and that sort of thing. They asked Anand about his job, his stock market preferences, his views on the latest news headlines and all that. We love our family men, we really really do. What big piles of mush they really are. Each one of them is having the toughest time dealing with Mossy's marriage, far more than the rest of us. They try to mask it with some sort of diluted bravado, but we know they're melting.
Still, overall the Interrogation of Anand went quite well and the man passed with flying colours. He's a good guy, genuine, with his feet on the ground and head on his shoulders. And sure, when him and Mossy stand next to each other, Mossy has to wear 5 inch heels so that they don't look like Bigs and Smalls, but you can tell they make each other very happy. I saw them sitting and talking to each other last night after the whole shebang and I don't think I've ever seen two people look more radiant in each other's company.

Confessions and Celebrations

7.5.06
Papa's birthday today. Another year. When I was younger, my father and my grandfather were my giants. There could be none taller or greater than them. I idolised them both. My two favourite people in the world.
I lost my grandfather, Ajja, a few years ago. His name was the first word I spoke. He was such a good man. Generous and caring. Funny. On countless afternoons I'd run away to my grandparents' home rather than go to my own. He called me Ammu. He'd shave at 4pm every evening. He'd never drink his tea until it was piping, no, boiling hot. He'd fall asleep watching afternoon TV and my grandmother and I would giggle. I'd sneak him sweets. He always smelt of Bryllcream. I'd help him tune his tabla and he'd teach me in return. A wonderful man. And one part of me will always be with him in that dark but breezy house, skipping through rooms to find my Ajja.
I look at my father now. As I grew up, papa changed from a giant to papa. Perhaps it was because I grew taller, perhaps it was because I just grew up. But I looked at him the other day, really looked. And I realized, he's still very much my giant. I didn't grow, I just forgot. But thank God, I won't ever grow up for him.
I look again and I see something else. My Papa is growing into my Ajja. The same face, the same habits. The same irritants and the same things that make him laugh. The same loving, generous man. And I am still Ammu.

Utopia

4.5.06
I use the name Seeking Clarity because it is a very honest name. It feels like I am always seeking some clarity. I first read Wislawa Szymborska a few months ago and feel in love with the beauty of her poetry. If writing is about showing readers a new reality, a look through another curtain, then Szymbokska is just perfect. I chanced upon this poem, 'Utopia', a while ago. And I wanted to share it with you because of its perfect juxtaposition. Szymborska provides me with the clarity I seek by telling me it is absolutely unattainable. I hope you like it as much as I do.
UTOPIA
Island where all becomes clear.
Solid ground beneath your feet.
The only roads are those that offer access.
Bushes bend beneath the weight of proofs.
The Tree of Valid Supposition grows here
with branches disentangled since time immemorial.
The Tree of Understanding, dazzlingly straight and simple,
sprouts by the spring called Now I Get It.
The thicker the woods, the vaster the vista:
the Valley of Obviously.
If any doubts arise, the wind dispels them instantly.
Echoes stir unsummoned
and eagerly explain all the secrets of the worlds.
On the right a cave where Meaning lies.
On the left the Lake of Deep Conviction.
Truth breaks from the bottom and bobs to the surface.
Unshakable Confidence towers over the valley.
Its peak offers an excellent view of the Essence of Things.
For all its charms, the island is uninhabited,
and the faint footprints scattered on its beaches
turn without exception to the sea.
As if all you can do here is leave
and plunge, never to return, into the depths.
Into unfathomable life.

Rest In Peace

3.5.06






Pramod Mahajan
30.10.49- 03.05.06

Democracy=Mobocracy

2.5.06
I'm studying the Greek philosophers for Politics this year. Its bloody interesting. Just reaffirms my faith in the cycle of things. It's one big chakra, and we're too stupid to take lessons from the past. So we commit the same mistakes again and again, with some new exciting features added every time.
It was really interesting to read that Socrates, Plato and Aristotle were all staunchly anti-democratic. There were several reasons why they hated by, for and of the people so much. Socrates feared that it would turn the administration into a 'Mobocracy'. Infact he was known to have hated the essential democractic principle of 'any man, any job'. Socrates was all for an 'Aristocracy of the Intellect'.
Plato was, if possible, more anti-democracy than this teacher Socrates. He blamed democracy for the death of Socrates and infact, was quite the first communist. Ofcourse, not communist in the sense that we know it today. Plato was all for the communism of property and family. He was of the view that the administrator should not hold binding ties to either as they produce a concept of 'Mine and Thine' and give rise to greed. Plato's philosopher king was always selfless and infact, Leviathan- nothing less than a Mortal God. Big demands.
But its Aristotle whose brusque treatment of democracy I find most interesting. He classifies this states quantitatively and qualitatively. Quantitatively- states are ruled by one, few or many. Qualitatively each of the above quantitative categories can have either a good manifestation, which he calls 'The Normal' and it can have a bad manifestation, 'The Perverted'. So the state ruled by one in the normal form is Monarchy and in the perverted is Tyranny. The state ruled by the few is Aristocracy in the normal and Oligarchy in the perverted. And the state ruled by the many is Polity in the normal and (wait for it) Democracy in the perverted.
So there you go. Aristotle thought democracy was a perverted form of governance. The Holy Trinity of ancient political philosophy dismissed democracy. Oh, but then again- these men also spoke about the sharing of wives, geometry being the essence of life and a monarch who was above many, if not all, laws. What does this lesson teach you?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Democracy- for more gyaan. Oh and P.s: I'm all for democracy, responsible democracy rocks. Just so you don't confuse me with either Socrates, Plato or Aristotle. I'm not Greek, I hate togas and I can't grow a beard.
Oh and P.p.s: Take a look at this while you're at it. Hilarious. http://www.sjgames.com/illuminati/politics.html