A Decision
There are some terrible things about going to college at Baldwin Women's Methodist College. It's been a rough and unpredictable couple of years here and I couldn't be happier that I've done my time and will be out soon. But like all other experiences, this one is also bittersweet. I've met some pretty interesting people, learnt about cultures and customs from the far corners of my country and learnt how easy it is for some to dedicate their lives to religion and truly live their belief.
That last part is difficult for me mainly because my religion, Hinduism, is so ambiguous to me. I was born a Hindu and therefore, I am one. I do all the things that others do- celebrate the same festivals, visit the same temples and pray with the same (ir)regularity. I don't feel particularly religious and find that my lack of (necessary) understanding of where my religion comes from is a huge hurdle towards my living as a Hindu. I feel guilty about this but also struggle with how to cope with it and change the situation for myself.
But I've decided its time for me to do something about it. If I want to understand my identity, atleast my social and religious identity, I can't expect for the answers to arrive. I'm still not sure where I can seek the answers that I want about the origins of Hinduism, customs, the rituals of prayer etc. I'll probably speak to people and read about it. I'm thinking of beginning with the Bhagwad-Gita. But that still requires a lot more thought and planning around my schedule. Currently my interest in understanding my religion is knowledge-based. I'm curious to understand more. I'm not all that sure it's some subconscious need to be closer to a higher power per say. I think my faith, as it is now, is healthy and I understand, interpret God or a higher universal power in a very personal manner, much like most others. I suppose its just the need to find the meaning of that large part of my identity which manifests itself in my daily life as well as that of others.
I need to know why.
This entry was posted
on 4.4.06 at 10:33 PM.
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i feel that people need religion not to guide them in life and show them the "way"..i feel that religion is a means to divert people's minds from their problems and worries..they need some outlet to pour their complains and anxiety..we just live along with it
i just read the conversation between u and anant ..i must say that i am impressed by ur blog because i think ur thinking matches with mine and u write very good ....
anyways i wrote another post in par with ur latest post
i dont know why it is not displaying on main page it is in the archives address is http://aniketbhatt.blogspot.com/2006_04_01_aniketbhatt_archive.html
Your quest seems to be going in the right direction...I hope you persevere in the right spirit.
Hey.... Good thinking, methodical writing... Nice and you address some questions that are very central to living and our day-to-day actions..
The questions seem to be in the right way... Do check out the I, Speculator and Umbra on my blog... See you
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